Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Just Can't Shake It

Greetings all,

Well I haven't seen my ex roommate since February. That was almost 9 months ago but I still think about her. I told my bookgroup peeps my situation several months ago and one of them said that he was in a similar situation where someone was quite hurtful to him and it took months to shake off the hurtful comments.

I guess I was aware of some level she was a bitch but she was an emotional whack job and needs some counselling. I was at a gaming store and saw the gaming systems and I was reminded that she wouldn't even let me play with her Wii. She just kept it for herself. What kind of selfish person behaves that way?

The thing though is my big thing was being able to pay rent on time. She was good at that so I guess I didn't care so much about other things like sharing the Wii or what not. I guess I could tolerate some of her drama queen behaviour because in my mind I already decided that I really didn't like her much.

I guess this was a learning experience. Although I wanted a roommate and got one, this one was not the kind I liked. I wonder if I'll ever be able to trust living with someone again. I know it'll take me a while to even consider moving in with someone or getting a roommate. I hate the hassle of searching for one if it doesn't work out.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Materialistic Thinking at its Finest!

Greetings all,

I was in a meditation group and the organizer briefly showed the group a book by Masaru Emoto. I am not sure which one exactly it was but I was already familiar with his concepts and was initially exposed to it via the pseudo-science/cult film 'What the Bleep Do We Know'.

I took out a couple of books from the library since as I was flipping through, one section looked worthy of my attention. I took out 'The Healing Power of Water' and 'The Secret Life of Water'. I flipped through the books and looked at the pretty pictures and then I realized, that its not water that is healing. Water is merely the medium. It is thinking that is the true healer.

Again, we encounter gross materialistic thinking at its finest.

Here we have these 'spiritualists' who now seem to think of water as this miraculous and wonderous thing (hey I drink water all the time, it's great but there is a very serious error in thinking here) when in reality, it is our Intention and what we Think that is causing these effects.

Again, this just reaffirms to me the Anthroposophical concept of Clear Thinking and Clear Thinking is so lacking in today's intellectual and spiritual groups.

One of the Errors in Feminist Thinking

Greetings all,

I started to read a book called At the Root of this Longing: Reconciling a Spiritual Hunger and a Feminist Thirst by Carol Flinders. Basically it is about feminism and spirituality and is about how "many feminists have been skeptical about traditional spirituality, and their mistrust has not been entirely unfounded. The forms of self-sacrifice often required by the spiritual life--including silence and suppression of desire--are conditions that have been imposed on women for centuries." (amazon.ca)

I have a hard time with this very concept of Feminism. First of all, I read an interesting book that talks about how having a Patriarchal society, is not only detrimental to women, but also to men. Men and Women both have feminine and masculine qualities and it is unhealthy for both to deny these qualities.

Anyways, I think the fundamental error in Feminist thinking is they can only see themselves as the victim and fail to see many people in this world are suffering. True it does not justify the wrongs that have been and are still being done to women. Women still have more bullshit to deal with as we continue to evolve. Hell, in the Middle East, women still aren't receiving rights that they should be.

There are other groups that experience suffering. For example, the Proletariat versus the Bourgeois. People complain endlessly how the Worker suffers but the Capitalists have their own issues to deal with but we just take one side.

Or the Natives. Being that today is Thanksgiving, we can argue that we basically stole their land and raped them of their culture but many leave their reserves and enjoy the materialism and perks of today's society.

Or the Blacks. They suffered and have a history of being slaves.

There are many groups and people that suffer every day in this world. I have only listed a few, there are still more. I just find Feminist thinking fails to see the big picture - they are just one group of the many groups that have to deal with suffering and not being treated equally.

What good though does it do to point out these injustices? It's good to acknowledge the wrong and to move forward but to keep pointing out how women have been victimized over the past thousands of years doesn't help us. Instead we need to focus on how far society has progressed and what areas need to be improved.

I think it boils down to Forgiveness. Holding on to the hurt and injustices done only hurts the Holder. People do need to deal with their pain and to eventually rise to that level and recognize that people hurt out of ignorance and egoism. Accepting the injustice certainly does not justify it and take away from the wrongness. Rather we can move forward and start creating laws, etc and doing something about the occurences.

Humanity didn't start out all evolved and all knowing and slowly we as a species are learning to be a little more nicer but realistically we still have a lot of evolving to do.

Again, part of what I find is the fundamental flaw is failing to see that everyone suffers to some degree. According to Buddha, life is suffering. Her whole argument has no validity. If feminists are skeptical about spirituality, maybe it's because they only want to believe that they are the ones that have experienced suffering. Isn't typically typical of victims to only see their own suffering and not that of those around them?

Although I agree with the point that women have been made to be silenced, the reality is no one likes to hear the Truth sometimes and it doesn't matter who says it. I watched someone on The Jon Stewart Show call him a Communist - just because they didn't like his opinions. Clearly women aren't the only ones that piss people off.

Life is painful but it can also be beautiful.
But that's life.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

The Elder

Greetings all,

My job is pretty boring. Entry level office. I'm glad though, that I have a job because I was out of work for so long. I'm still figuring out what direction I want to go with my life. Being that I am a deep thinker and all, these things tend to take me a while to figure out.

I started my job with 2 other people at the same time. One of them is 26 and quite extroverted and outgoing and warm. The other is 22 and is fresh out of school. The later is a bit annoying but I am making the conscious decision to step back and make fun of the situation.

I find that she has no concept of the work world and she was complaining a bit about how stupid our job is and how a 7 year old could do our work. True, our work is easy but it's a job and it has to be done. I know when I was 22, I didn't like the jobs I had but I didn't complain about them. I mean, I couldn't figure out what to do with my life so really I had no one else to blame.

A funny thing she said the other day was how in school at least she could nap. I think these youngins' just don't get that school only prepares you to some degree about 'the real world' and that to be in school is a luxury.

And sadly doesn't teach you the harsh realities of work. The 9-5 world. The dealing with egos. The dealing with bosses. The dealing with doing repetitive tasks.

I honestly wonder why the hell did she apply to this job?

I guess I am seeing some expectation mentality in her.

Today we were having lunch with a guy who sits in between us. I am starting to crush on him - mainly because he has curly hair and I find curly hair drives me wild. We started to discuss about colds and how going out with wet hair can make you sick. Me and Curly Hair boy both agreed that it doesn't make you sick but the Youngin was insistent on being right and that it compromises your immunity. But really you'd have to be exposed to it for a long time for it to really make you sick and most people aren't outside long enough to make you sick.

I argued though that neither of us are doctors so really none of us can be sure but she seemed rather insistent on her position.

I have read that that is a myth and that most colds can be prevented simply by hand washing. She just couldn't accept that I was right and I was comfortable enough with my self where it didn't bother me.

I think I'll enjoy pushing her buttons because now I am starting to see that instead of getting mad at how annoying she can be, maybe I should push her buttons and laugh at her own youthful foolishness.

The thing though is I see a bit of me in her but I still think I will try and push her buttons. Afterall, it seems fairly easy.

Monday, October 05, 2009

When is it My Turn?

Greetings all,

I've been fairly busy with work and doing things around the city. I had to go to a baby shower yesterday for a relative and there were 5 other women pregnant as well.

I told my mother on the way home that I feel like I'm being left behind. All these people who are my age or younger are getting married and having babies. I wonder when am I going to find the right man and have my own?

It gets frustrating but I can't really do much about it so I am just enjoying life.

I had a potluck with the book group back in Dundas that I used to regularly attended. Someone in the group, their mother didn't get married and start having kids until 40 and someone in my group as well had been married again and had her first kids in her 40s.

I really don't want to be that 'old' to start having kids and finding the right man but do I really have any choice? I can't force things in life and it's not like I'm not going out and trying dating.

Again I keep coming back to this idea of relaxing and enjoying life.

Considering that I like to plan things and be in control, this relaxing stuff and waiting is just bullshit!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Over and Done With

Greetings all,

As mentioned a few posts earlier, I was talking again with the 'english muffin'. I last spoke to him on Skype near the end of July and haven't heard from him since. I have been online a few times and a couple of times I honestly think he was avoiding me because he would hop off like about 2 or 3 minutes after I made myself visible. I noticed he was online alot and so I thought maybe he wanted to chat with me and congratulate me but the couple of times I would make myself visible, he just never bothered.

I poked him on facebook back in the middle of August and we exchanged a few messages.

I just decided that I don't need someone like that in my life so I officially decided to be over and done with him.

I really don't think he was into me and maybe was to some degree, but not enough to make him come and visit me.

Or make the effort to talk to me.

I really just don't understand him and this on/off friendship has gone on long enough. I gave him a chance and let him lead.

I was upset since he didn't even bother to congratulate me on finding a job as I posted it on facebook and many of my friends congratulated me.

I just don't understand why he would play around with me but I don't need someone like that in my life.

I deleted my skype account last Monday and sent him a quick note this morning that I have enough friends and that removing him was nothing personal. I have known him long enough so I wanted to at least give him a polite goodbye, since I think I have class, although maybe I shouldn't since he lacked courage and balls to end things.

I also don't understand why he would keep me as a friend on facebook but cowardly avoid me on skype. Well it's over and done with and I'm just not into him anymore. He has proved himself to be unworthy of my attention!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

A New Holiday

Greetings and Salutations,

I have created a new holiday called "I Think I Am Awesome Day" and this holiday is for those who think they are awesome or for those who are lacking some confidence to focus and look within to discover their own Inner Awesomeness.

We have many holidays that celebrate things such as the birth of a Saviour, or the beginning of a New Year, or even for those in Love. But what we lack is a holiday to acknowledge our own self confidence and self worth and so that is why I have decided to create this holiday. We all need to stop and take the time to look within and acknowledge our own Inner Awesomeness as it is easy to forget.

So if you think you are Awesome, today is the day to celebrate!

Tell your friends!

Happy I Think I Am Awesome Day!

Monday, September 07, 2009

Redirect the Flow

Greetings all,

Because I am interested in spiritual topics, the concept of 'going with the flow' is always brought up. I am currently into kundalini yoga and have done 8 years of regular yoga and 3 years of qigong. I know that it helps to relax, instead of trying to fight and struggle.

But sometimes, I wonder if people misapply this concept of 'going with the flow' because sometimes you can't go with the flow and maybe need to redirect it or put a halt to it.

Sometimes you just have to make a decision in life and make things happen. While I think it's important to realize what you can and cannot control and stay relaxed, sometimes you need to nudge a little, probe a little and push a little.

I understand sometimes life is going to teach us some things so it's just best to 'go with the flow' and learn but life isn't always like that. I think since I am a creative person, I know from experience, I don't just come up with ideas from no where. I put some thought into things and get observations. I am proactive and eventually something comes out of that but it comes out because I put effort into it.

Clearly in life, you need to put effort and other times you don't. I guess it takes wisdom to know when to do what.

Tethering Dogs and it's Relation to Human Behaviour

Greetings all,

I was driving a few days ago and heard John Tesh on the radio and was briefly listening to him. Now I personally hate John Tesh but what he was talking about what interesting. I hate him because he makes what I perceive to be common sense knowledge, into something revolutionary. Like okay, this is good to know, but really this is not going to enhance the quality of my life that much.

He was talking about how tethering dogs is not good and there is research to support this since dogs are social creatures and if they get tied up, it makes them more territorial and thus more aggressive because they are not allowed to roam free.

So it would be better to let them run free so they are happier.

I thought about how this parallels to human behaviours.

We humans are social creatures and we need each other, whether we want to admit or not. But you can see how if people try to control each other, it just fosters aggression in humans.

We can look at political structures where democracy is not allowed and see that eventually it leads to rebellions, civil wars and alot of angry people.

Or in corporations where if people aren't listened to and given freedom to do their work, it can lead to strikes or to people just quitting the jobs.

Or in personal relationships or marriage. Can result in people cheating or people withdrawing emotionally because they do not like being controlled and having their freedom taken away.

I'm sure there are more examples out there but basically we humans have something in common with dogs in that in order for humans to be healthy, they must have freedom and it is a necessity. Denying people freedom is just going to create aggressive behaviour.

So if we want to live in a more peaceful world, it makes sense to give people some freedom instead of trying to control them.